How can someone who is really upset with you and is worried about you not liking them not speak to you for three days? Then make plans to hang out with you today and you wait around all day with no message? Like do you want to know how I feel about you or not? Because if you don’t, just let me know, so I won’t keep trying to bring it up. Because if you do want to talk about everything that has happened between us and you tell me you’re going to call me, and I wait around all day for you and you never holla at a girl, I’m just going to not want to speak with you ever. You just turned twenty-two and you’re honestly acting like a five year old. I’m sorry if you’re hurt, but let me explain myself to you before you cut me out of your life because I enjoy your company. You’re a great girl and a really good friend. Like what am I supposed to do?
Do I manage to fuck up already with a girl I’m not even actually talking too. Like what? I really wish she would just suck it up and speak to me so I can figure out why she’s even freaking out.
I really don’t understand why I tell people my feelings on anything. They never keep their mouth shut. Ever. No matter what it is. If your circle of friends is as close as mine is, there are basically no secrets. Ever. Because one person always ends up slipping up or commenting on the hidden agenda accidentally. I’m honestly not mad at anyone. I’m just disappointed in myself. I had my thoughts laid out. I knew my problem. And I knew my solution. But I had to complicate things by asking advice on my problem and said solution. I’ve just learned that keeping my thought process bottled inside it the not way to make sure no one ruins anything or makes situations awkward. Because awkward is the absolute last thing I wanted.
No more speaking to anyone Sara. It always ends up fucking you in the end. You’ve done so well by only going to yourself for your advice. Keep it that way.
I haven’t had sex since I don’t even know. And I think it’s finally starting to get to me. My posts are getting too dirty for my liking. And the best part? I’m getting a gram of 93% pure MDMA this Saturday… LAAAAWWWLLLLL! Who’s gunna be the lucky person??
today, i’ve kinda just distanced myself away from everything to look at my life. i’m currently awaiting a long-needed vacation to florida, not only for the sun and nice weather, but also to see a few people. my main concern, which has fully set in tonight, is that i will be seeing my ex girlfriend; i’m not quiet sure how i feel about that. i haven’t seen her in about two years, and we left off on terrible terms. ex or not, everything should always be resolved to a point of being civilized. her and i have just recently gotten to that level. the level of being able to just talk about our day and then go on not texting each other until each of has a question or something we felt the need to share with each other. i’m so glad that her and i have been able to get to this point, but seeing her, i think, will put that into perspective for me. i just really hope that i don’t fall into her bullshit again. i know i have been over it for these passed years, but i can’t tell if it’s because i haven’t had to see her, or if it’s because i truly am. i hope she just doesn’t pressure me into doing something i’m not into. bianca was good at that. a very convincing human-being. oh well, time will tell i guess. naples is my first stop, relaxating to the max, before orlando where i know i’ll thank myself later for taking time to enjoy florida before spending some time with her.
Why the fuck did you do this? Like I honestly hate you. Everything about you that I loved I now hate. Seriously. You’re out of my life and I’m doing so well, and you think you can just stroll right in and fuck it all up again? Who the fuck do you think you are? I’m not the same girl I was a year ago. I changed. Drastically. For the better because you haven’t been in my life. And will never be again.